Mundane Everyday

Everyday life has become a mediocre representation of what I wouldn’t hate the rest of my life looking like. I would like to have an office that isn’t inside my bedroom, I think this is the most important thing to me right now as I already have insomnia so trying to sleep in such close proximity to my creative and stress workbase makes it hard to separate stress from my sleep process.

If you’ve ever lived in a dorm room or with room mates during any kind of schooling you may understand that feeling.

But I am finding my everyday a little barer but quite similar to what I see myself doing. Researching, writing, emailing, administrative things. I think I would pepper in a bit more eating what I want and getting on my feet rehearsing/creating or actually, you know, seeing people.

If you’re wondering where all of this is coming from I am currently focusing on my creative projects that mean a lot to me, and getting them set up and prepared for further funding and growth. The thing about being so manipulative to the creative process is that you have to be very careful to still give it room to grow. Creativity can’t be harnessed and leashed to be then unleashed at a given time. Take this post, it took my until 3pm to get to writing it because if I had tried beforehand nothing would’ve come out.

I have the flexibility to spend time with friends and family through the day which I am grateful for, and as I move forward with my various creative projects I hope that those kinds of days will still be able to exist and not only on the weekends. I’ve never been much of a “workin’ for the weekend” kind of girl. I do appreciate a good Friday night or a lazy, cosy, Sunday morning, but I am more of a Thursday afternoon tea date kind of person.

So no, I am not as busy as I was around this time last year, and guess what? I vowed to never let myself get that stressed out or busy again, I remember saying I will never complain about being bored again, and although that’s not stayed true but I have learned to value the down time that I now posess.

I have time for meditation and yoga on a more regular, deeper basis. I have time to go out for lunch with my parents and have actual conversations with them. I have the ability to make my tea numerous times through out the day without anyone saying “Another one, really?” That’s big for me. Freedom to be creative on my own terms (while still searching for some form of income) with sprinkled in bits of trying not to overspend online shopping lists and not get too distracted by youtube or Netflix. These are the things I wished I could do last year.

So, I am essentially living the dream.

Something that I will refuse to take for granted is the fact that I have the opportunity to spend some down time in my parents house and be able to not have a stable-income job for a few months. Reflecting on this summer I wish I had done more writing, more creative things, and had spent more time with my family. I think that if anything I just need to change my attitude. They say once you stop searching for love it’ll come; well I could stop looking for a job but I feel like it may not come, jobs don’t usually show up that way (I don’t have the luck for that).

I hope you all are enjoying your near-autumn season, let it be in school or working, be grateful for what you do have, because something about life that people always forget is that your time is so fleeting and special, because it won’t be here forever. And look, now the time’s just gone and it’s nearly the end of the day, what have you done today that you could be proud of? An accomplishment is an accomplishment no matter how small.

Xx Jess

The Vogue Fit

Let me tell you a story about a young girl obsessed with Vogue magazine. You may know this if you’ve read many of my other fashion posts, but this story is defined by the fact that it took place in a bustling Paris train station WH Smith equivalent looking through the shelves, minutes from train departure time, and finding a French Vogue with a special T-shirt deal in it.

Naturally I did not hestate to purchase the said magazine as it was a dream of mine to collect a Vogue from every country I visited (which was nearly completed) and so I placed down some euros without a second thought and then rushed to my train to Frankfurt. On the train I had a few hours to myself as my travelling companion and I spent train rides relatively in our own heads (thankfully so, as two weeks straight with each other gets exhausting, still love you to bits, AJ!!) and so I fiddled with my audiobook and then watched the passing greenery of France and later Germany out of the window.

I opened my French Vogue after a while, shoving the tshirt into my bag assuming that it wouldn’t fit me as the stereotypical French beauty aesthetic and size was not going to get me down today, I was determined to enjoy this magazine and not let an inevitably too small t-shirt get me down. When we arrived in Frankfurt however, I ended up trying on my t-shirt in the (so so so gross) hostel bathroom and finding myself happily surprised.

The t-shirt fit.

Was I just smaller than I thought? Or, could it be, that women EVERYWHERE are of variable sizes? No, it couldn’t be, I must’ve picked up a magazine package that had a M-L (in French, of course) marking on it. But no, this was just the size that the magazine came with. Tears in my eyes as I realised that women worldwide were shaped bigger than I had expected. What a great attitude to enter into Germany, where women not only looked like me but ate sausages and drank dark beer and loved living life because they are beautiful and that’s what we all should think everyday anyway.

It is hard to be a woman with the media telling you your body is imperfect, but guess what? Every body is beautiful, and that’s all we’ve got to accept.

As I sit not drinking tea in my French Vogue tshirt that I found fit me two years ago I am reflecting on the beauty of life. How simple things can make such an impact on you, and how not being embarrassed by your own self makes the biggest difference of all.

Xx Jess

October Playlist

I wrote a critique on Lookbooks a earlier this month and it was because I thought that it wasn’t topical to film/write/photograph a lookbook at the end of a season, and with that in mind I have decided to do a new segment. It will be monthly, and it will be in the last week of the month and it will be for the upcoming month. Reflecting the season, I am going to compile ten songs that I love to listen to in that month, or am loving at the moment and know will be good for the upcoming time in my life. It’s for me, but I like to share my music sometimes because it’s a big part of my everyday. I hope this finds you well this October!

Road Regrets – Dan Mangan
Season of the Witch – Donovan
The Wolf – Eddie Vedder
The Divide – Grace Potter & The Nocturnals
Oliver James – Fleet Foxes
Maybe – Janis Joplin
Where is My Mind? – The Pixies
Rock and Roll Suicide – David Bowie
You Really Got a Hold On Me – She & Him
Old Enough to Know – Zeus

I associate October with warm tones, tunes, and times. These songs reflect those things for me. Some are easy listening, some are just something different than the constant pounding of summer beats or indie summer evening songs. I have a thing for classic rock in all seasons, that’s not going anywhere, but I do lean towards more of a classic feel. I do come by it honestly though. If anything, its some new music if you’re looking for it that will set the mood for the upcoming spooky autumn month!

Xx Jess

Zoella Beauty ordered and on its way!

Today is the first day that you can order Beauty products from the beautiful, and wonderful Zoella from youtube. I’ve been waiting for these products for a long time as I trust Zoe’s judgments and we have similar style. I have been on her blog all day decided on which products I am going to order and am honestly so excited. I’ve given myself a twenty (Canadian) dllar budget for now as otherwise I would just place a full order for the entire haul!

My order list so far contains the Creamy Madly Dreamy Body Lotion, Her Bath Cream and I have been on email alert for her Let’s Glow Fragrance candle since it SOLD OUT already–as these are what speak to me the most from just glancing at the list (and regarding my budget).

I had expected a variety of body-remedies from Zoella as she has boasted many-a-time that she is not a know-it-all beauty gal, and she would not want to release anything that wasn’t clearly HER, which these products are without a doubt ZOELLA BEAUTY. She has a unique perspective on home décor and style, which combines vintage with bold couture prints, which you may be confused as to how that could be displayed through a candle or bath balms. It is through her promise of being truly herself, and only allowing products that represent her style be released under her name, and I trust her I do.

The rest of the products are things like a guinea pig makeup bag, body mists and shower creams, which are just things that I am not interested in ordering at this time. Hopefully they are delivered promptly as the last time I used feelunique.com for a similar Youtuber’s Beauty products (Tanya Burr Cosmetics, if you’re interested) my original got lost after a month and a half of waiting, but they replaced it without question.

How lucky am I to live in a world where someone in England who is a Youube celebrity with six MILLION subscribers can have the opportunity to be creative (she also has a book coming out in November called Girl Online which I have already preordered…) and I am still able to be involved in that creativity by purchasing her products and supporting her. She does what she believes, she does what she wants, man, Zoella, you inspire me to create every single day.

This is Zoella’s blog where she has beautiful pictures and a list of her products that are released today. If you’re up for a new beauty adventure I suggest taking a peak. She also has a Youtube chan:nel, which is simple.
Blog: http://www.zoella.co.uk/
Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/zoella280390

Xx Jess

Outlander: The Transitional Read for a Twenty-Something Romantic

I read Outlander by Diana Gabaldon last April while on vacation down south with my family, which means I read it by the beach in cosy straw hats sipping margaritas, yes, but also out on the balcony at dusk when my family was getting ready for dinner and I would look out on the ocean and think of my travels to Scotland. This book was a great addition to my twenty-something education of love, whimsy, and relationships.
Set in the Scottish Highlands it rang true as I had been in the Highlands not six months before starting the book, and so the mountains were so familiar to me at the time. It followed a lovely British woman Claire right after the second World War after being a nurse, and having time travelled to the height of the Scottish rebellion, away from her husband and into the arms of a team of Scotsmen. This first book of the series (admittedly the only one I could make it through) was beautiful, and fed my need for romance, sex, and historical fiction surrounding the incredible Highlands.
Last evening I watched the pilot for the TV series which has been said to go chapter-by-chapter for each episode through the novel. I was skeptical, because I do love the book so much, bu from the credits (which reminded me of the Keira Knightley Pride and Prejudice art director) I knew it was a show for me. The narration, the music, and the small gestures of each character reminds me of the beautiful etail from the novel. I would recommend reading the book first, but it was a delivery worth watching in that pilot and is definitely bringing me back to watch the second episode and beyond. Maybe, if the show goes well, I will be motivated to get through the rest of the series.
If you’re looking for a heroine-driven romance that incorporates flawless (okay, well, for the sake of narrative, nearly-flawless) historical facts and moments, then I suggest picking up Outlander or watching the show. It is not for everybody, but I fell for it immediately.

It also didn’t hurt that the main love interest, the Scotsman Jamie, is GORGEOUS. Better than expected. Did not disappoint. Yum.

Xx Jess

Peru and Pictures

Since my trip to Peru in April most of my family have seen the entire canon of photographs that I took on my small, nearly eight-year-old camera that takes double-A batteries to stay charged. This is not really intentional, but only a result of the fat that I take pictures for myself because I like to remember moments, and don’t necessarily take any to show others unless it is something of importance. This has propelled most of my pictures to be private, and not exposed on Facebook for the world to judge, “Like,” and…comment on.

I thought I would share my favourite picture of myself from a sunset on one of our first evenings in the desert. We spent the day in sesna planes, graveyards, sipping cokes by the pool and eating extremely new and strange foods that were literally cooked in clay in the ground. It is what they would call a “selfie,” and the flowers in the background were incredible.

Peru

Why share it now? Well, I thought that there is something to be said about what your own self would like to show the world. I don’t spend hours fawning over selfies or profile pictures, instagram or anything of the type. I will take a few selfies and then post them as profile pictures, but I think that the phase of perfect photos has passed for me. This is the picture that I remember from the first phase of our journey and it is what I want to remember it by. I want you all to know that I only took two shots of this selfie, but about four or five of the sunset infront of those flowers.

As my eyes deteriorate beyond my control I have grown more accustomed to see things. Anything, really, see anything, and see what I never thought that I would see. That evening I could not see the horse grazing on grass infront of the sun or the dog that kept running around the field. I could hardly see the flowers before taking this photo, but I remember the way the wind felt, and the way that it sounded, and the hunger growing and the anxiety of having to take a night bus on a massive mountain with a snoring lady I hardly knew and not my best friend beside me. It was an experience of a lifetime, and these pictures are for me to remember.

Xx Jess

PS. After writing this post a few days ago I decided to add in a few more funny Peru selfies because I feel like it!
Peru Sesna Plane

 

 

 

Llama Peru Selfie

 

 

Machu Picchu Solo Trip Peru

Lip-Lust

While on the blog roll I was finding new colours for fall. Burgundy seems to be the one thing that has taken over every fashion website as autumn makes its appearance. I’ve always loved burgundy, but for fall I love the browns and greens that come through primarily. I’ve recently given in to a burgundy lipstick however, a nice new MAC Diva, and that made me very happy to enjoy bold lipsticks and have the confidence to wear it on a regular basis.

I found a new line of bold, matte lipsticks that I really would love to try from Charlotte Tilbury, but it is only sold and shipped within the UK and Europe. Am I disappointed? Yes, their autumn line is beautiful and a wide-lipped-dreaming-girl’s delight. I debate trying to figure out some kind of deal with my friends from England so I could order it to their house and then have them mail it to me, but its already nearly $35 Canadian dollars just for the lipstick, not sure if I can handle more shipping costs on top of international shipping costs.

What is it with designer anything that makes them so elite to certain areas of the world? Its not like the lipstick is supporting local artists or something super cool that I would buy from somewhere in Canada and know the designer or anything, it just an exclusive brand. Sometimes I wish that I lived somewhere more exclusive, and that prompts me to want to move to Toronto in the near future, even if it isn’t NYC or London, it is closer than where I am now.

If you’re interested in the brand then I’d go check it out on their website I am personally loving the Bond Girl and Amazing Grace colours!

Xx Jess

Mysterious Size Chart

I have recently indulged my internal fashionista in a wave of online shopping in the past year and it has truly been a wonderful experience. I do love the worldwide reach, and I love that I can sift through pages and pages of beautiful seasonal prints, shoes, bags, and all of them relatively affordable and different than anything I could find in the stores nearby. I love it, I do, but I have a small qualm.

I have an average sized, short, strong body, and I love it, and appreciate it and am grateful for everything it gets me through. I treat it well with daily activity, yoga, and eating relatively well with sprinkled tasty treats and glasses of wine. I try to dress it comfortably but also nicely, a smart yet colourful palette, and I wish it the best while I am sleeping so it can grow and rest. But it exists, and it is not as small as the models I see in Vogue, and it is not as toned as I would like it to be sometimes, but its all I got.

And sometimes I buy clothes online and they come in my size and they are not fitting the way that I had hoped. In my case right now it is a tartan printed pair of coveralls that were inexpensive and from the UK, and they are so quaint and lovely that I just couldn’t resist. They came in last week and I tried them on and they just weren’t what I had expected. I tried them again a few minutes ago and realised that it is my thighs and butt that aren’t getting into them. I feel no shame in admitting that, I love my legs and bum so I don’t care if I have to buy larger sizes to fit them in, I’d rather they be covered than hanging out, but this was discouraging.

I think I am going to keep them and not return because I am not sure about the online store’s policy and they fit enough that if I just wear them as shorts then they won’t look strange. But I just wish that clothes were made for me and not clothes that I had to look in the “curvy” section for. I know that it is an unrealistic dream to think that bras, pants, dresses and shoes,a ll things that are extremely unique to each person and enough so that there should be different dimensions than “S-M-L,” or the “by-twos” sizing systems.

I argue for those of us who are too big to fit into the D-dimensions in the local bra store and the friends I have that struggle to fit their legs into the jean sizes that do not accommodate for tall and thin-hipped women. We are women, we are humans, we are not dictated by sizes told to us by the corporate clothing companies. HEAR US ROAR. And for the love of pete give us some clothing that can let us do us and just be already.

Xx Jess

Sangria-Sunsets

When I was a young warthog (girl) I used to have my friends over for sleepovers and we would have snacks. Usually some kind of chips and soda or hundreds of water bottles. In the morning we used to have french toast and juice, and the entire night would be a whirlwind of giggling, too-grown-up movies, and late night talking into the morning.

Growing older now sleepovers are a little different. Not as many late nights, more just talking with snacks, and something that I’ve grown very fond of is sangria. Red wine, ginger ale, fruit, lime and a lemon. Something about the mix of nostalgia and alcohol gets everyone talking, comfortable, and smiling. Is this the new recipe for special grown up sleepovers?

It isn’t a requirement, but it sure makes everyone feel good. I think what I like most about it is the idea of making it a few hours before the festivities begin and putting in the effort and knowing that it is going to be appreciated and liked and successful in its purpose: bringing together.

The various tastes, the sweets and sours, the alcohol and sugary juice all comes together to percolate together in the fridge, and they all come together into something bright and bubbly. Like the pending sleepover which could go many ways, the sangria brings people together into comfortable, supportive arms. Maybe I am too oprtimistic for such a drink’s ability and power, but it hasn’t failed me for a good time yet.

xx Jess