Everyday life has become a mediocre representation of what I wouldn’t hate the rest of my life looking like. I would like to have an office that isn’t inside my bedroom, I think this is the most important thing to me right now as I already have insomnia so trying to sleep in such close proximity to my creative and stress workbase makes it hard to separate stress from my sleep process.
If you’ve ever lived in a dorm room or with room mates during any kind of schooling you may understand that feeling.
But I am finding my everyday a little barer but quite similar to what I see myself doing. Researching, writing, emailing, administrative things. I think I would pepper in a bit more eating what I want and getting on my feet rehearsing/creating or actually, you know, seeing people.
If you’re wondering where all of this is coming from I am currently focusing on my creative projects that mean a lot to me, and getting them set up and prepared for further funding and growth. The thing about being so manipulative to the creative process is that you have to be very careful to still give it room to grow. Creativity can’t be harnessed and leashed to be then unleashed at a given time. Take this post, it took my until 3pm to get to writing it because if I had tried beforehand nothing would’ve come out.
I have the flexibility to spend time with friends and family through the day which I am grateful for, and as I move forward with my various creative projects I hope that those kinds of days will still be able to exist and not only on the weekends. I’ve never been much of a “workin’ for the weekend” kind of girl. I do appreciate a good Friday night or a lazy, cosy, Sunday morning, but I am more of a Thursday afternoon tea date kind of person.
So no, I am not as busy as I was around this time last year, and guess what? I vowed to never let myself get that stressed out or busy again, I remember saying I will never complain about being bored again, and although that’s not stayed true but I have learned to value the down time that I now posess.
I have time for meditation and yoga on a more regular, deeper basis. I have time to go out for lunch with my parents and have actual conversations with them. I have the ability to make my tea numerous times through out the day without anyone saying “Another one, really?” That’s big for me. Freedom to be creative on my own terms (while still searching for some form of income) with sprinkled in bits of trying not to overspend online shopping lists and not get too distracted by youtube or Netflix. These are the things I wished I could do last year.
So, I am essentially living the dream.
Something that I will refuse to take for granted is the fact that I have the opportunity to spend some down time in my parents house and be able to not have a stable-income job for a few months. Reflecting on this summer I wish I had done more writing, more creative things, and had spent more time with my family. I think that if anything I just need to change my attitude. They say once you stop searching for love it’ll come; well I could stop looking for a job but I feel like it may not come, jobs don’t usually show up that way (I don’t have the luck for that).
I hope you all are enjoying your near-autumn season, let it be in school or working, be grateful for what you do have, because something about life that people always forget is that your time is so fleeting and special, because it won’t be here forever. And look, now the time’s just gone and it’s nearly the end of the day, what have you done today that you could be proud of? An accomplishment is an accomplishment no matter how small.