I’ve decided to spend the day de-cluttering my entire room. I have been a notorious pack-rat, and while reflecting on this in the past few days I’ve realized a few things.
I keep things in boxes, tshirts from past theatre productions (from highschool), empty perfume boxes, old costumes and toys that I never use, never look at, and hardly acknowledge unless I am cleaning. I wondered to myself yesterday while feeling as though I am living in a closet why I keep these things. I will never use them, and even when I grow up and out of this house will I even care? I don’t think so. The only things I want to keep are the toys for my future children (a huge pink dollhouse, some Harry Potter toys, and stuffed animals). So, I’ve decided to take today and rid myself of anything “just for show.”
It is…hard. Very hard. To say goodbye to so many things that have been a stable, constant in my life for so long, but I am due for a change. I spent yesterday evening going through my clothes and purging, and shifting my seasonal warm clothes into boxes and the sweaters and tights out. This is essential when I live in Canada where it is a cold-front for six months of the year (it seems now) and the rest is either rainy or too hot to handle.
I have been the kind of person who clings to her things. I’ve never considered myself “materialistic,” but I do appreciate the things I do have, and the trinkets that I’ve collected from around the world and through various experiences in university. I am known for not liking any space in my room to be empty, I like to be surrounded, don’t I? I’ve noticed this summer that no. I do not like to be surrounded by things that I never use. And I am changing this today.
I wish I could do more. I wish I could have places to set out my favourite train tickets from England or my scarves from Peru, but until I have a bigger space I will not and they must be kept safe until then. I want to be organised, I want to be the kind of person who can live without being surrounded. I am drowning in my things, and I hate myself for it.
So this is the right step, right? I’m not supposed to have all of these things, I’m supposed to be minimal, but there is something to be said about wanting to hold on to the things that mean something to you—it means that you care. I relive memories all the time in my room, but maybe it is time to look to the future.
My goal is create a creative, comfortable, adult space where it doesn’t feel like a closet but also doesn’t feel empty. Wish me luck.