I’ve spent most of my life figuring out how it feels to be “normal” and realising that the feeling that everyone feels when they do not fit in is not abnormal, but yourself. I never feel more isolated, confidence, or myself than when sitting at a table of people speaking about things in a smart, positive way.
This weekend has been full of round-table conversations about various topics, accompanied by wine, pizza, coffee and good people. There is a note of hesitation in my thoughts while writing about this because I know it may seem a bit strange, but I appreciate being around people and having conversations that are meaningful and accepting of various standpoints. I love when people can share their thoughts, experiences, and good food while encouraging each other to be smart and positive, to be yourself.
I remember feeling extremely isolated in the past during conversations where he topics were over my head or the people out of my comfort zone, but as I grew older and wiser and could drink wine and coffee the conversations developed with me, and my identity seemed to rely on the conversations I was having with people and the impact I made on them or vice versa.
There was a time early in my university career where I would only see “friends” while in a drinking situation and would only speak while inebriated or about the related drinking topics, but as I have lingered in the world of drinking I have found that my own tolerance of alcohol as well as drunk people has weakened, and I would rather spend quality time with less alcohol and more speaking, more connection, more intimacy.
What have I deduced from this? Not that alcohol is bad, or that you can’t be a human being without constant interaction with other people, I just personally have developed my own person from the ability to convey my thoughts in an adult fashion, and that has formed my personality, identity, and confidence.
So if you have a group of friends, or family, or want to form a book club or something of the sort I encourage you to provide a spread or go for a meal and exchange ideas, because there is nothing like the electric feeling of a conversation that feels (and is) productive!