Some Thoughts About the Process

Friends,

It is times like these that I am confident in saying that I am a writer. This time being I am currently knee-deep in notes (literally, there is paper and word documents covering most surfaces in my apartment) and books and research that have inspired me or I’m trying to get inspired by for this script, the looming deadline, the pressure which I am grateful for but also am terrified by. It is times like these that confuse me, because because I cannot write means I am failing at doing what I say I do and yet man do I ever feel alive right now.

I have been inspired to draw? Where I would rather be painting, painting with my hands, but more or less trying to get something creative outside of my body, this means it is the right time to write.

GET OUT SWEET CREATION GET OUT.

I feel like I’m giving birth. I regret saying that it is not that painful I imagine but it needs to get out in a similar intensity however….I am happy to say that I’ve finished all of the episodes of Call the Midwife on Netflix (and probably all that I will watch honestly) and am planning on starting the West Wing tonight.

That wasn’t relevant, you are welcome. I am not much of a blogger anymore. I have a few neat tidbits flipping around my head for next year now that I’ve got the hang of this graduate school thing and time management and inspiration, so, stay tuned around…the turn of the year…(if you’ve followed my blogs for a while you MAY be able to guess what I’m cooking up for this here blog…).

So this is just ramblings from someone who is trying to write, so it is relevant to me, because it gets thoughts out here that will not be going in that script. It is a first rough draft if you are wondering, but it is an idea that’s been cooking for about a year, or just under, and is trying to develop this evening.

I made some muffins earlier and they smell nice, okay, that helps.

What else can I say to leave you? I hope you are having a lovely Christmas time, it is for sure sincerely Christmas time, less than two weeks until Christmas day! Think about that! I can start full-on celebrating by Tuesday which is going to be welcomed with open arms, but I haven’t worn anything but Christmas jumpers for three days, so, get on my level people.

I end most blogs like this to the extent that I am starting to wonder what “regular blog content” actually is or if this is just how I am now…but…I promise to be back with a bit more straightforward contented blog next time, or maybe not, my promises have never come through on here, and if I’m honest….its my blog, so, ha.

Love and hugs and all that, I’m off to write.

xx Jess

Somewhere Only We Know

Dear, dear Friends,

I hope you are all well. It has been quite a bit of time since I last wrote, there is a long drawn out explanation, but in short I have moved apartments, and if I’m honest its very much for the best. This past month has been a shit show all around, and thankfully this evening draws it to a close. As I plan my schedule for finals writing, and look around my new apartment and smell candles not paint, and think of how far I’ve come, man am I proud.

I am held up by some incredible human beings. I tell you about the points in my life that I tend to be proud of, and my friends have done me so well lately. New ones, old ones, good ones, people have not just held me up but offered, gave, listened, took hold of me and held me while I cried or wept or laughed, and for that I am more than grateful. This has been a struggle for me, to continue to work on school and not take a break, to keep going, to continue, to perservere, and it isn’t the first time in my life I’ve done so or had to rely on other people.

I cannot articulate my thanks, so I will just talk a bit about the nature of friendship instead.

One song that always reminds me of one friendship in particular, because of how much we’ve gone through and speak about, the love we share constantly unsaid but always known, we talk eachother down from everything, we’ve definitely saved each other’s lives on multiple occaisions, and continue to do so on a daily basis. I feel this way about people, I am happy to feel at all.

I am so lucky to have caring people in my life.

I always wonder how to make new friends, because living in a big new city on my own (literaly, in an apartment solo) not exactly close to anyone, just sort of in the middle of the city and hoping to meet new people is a bit…strange. Its hard, I don’t just talk to people in the bookstores or coffee shops I frequent, I really only met the people in my program (all of which have been amazing humans in supporting me, and we all are leaning on each other considerably in this final stretch to the end of our first term in grad school, and if any of you are reading this KEEP GOING! I’m taking a much needed break from editing adaptation, you are all golden gods, as I tell you frequently) but there’s no other outlets for me to meet people here….

I tried to join a book club, but didn’t keep going. What am I supposed to do, talk to someone randomly in the BMV? Join a club at school? Who has time to make friends?

Do I need new friends? After the past two weeks I would argue not. I have enough amazing friendships to host a fleet, to take over an ocean with our love and support and laughter. Weight anchor, all, I’ll be staying a while.

With lots of love I write this, finally feeling comfortable in a safe space, a home, that I can cultivate with the help of others. I hope I can return their kindness to them, I will constantly return all favours, love, and kindness.

Man, friends are cool, what a cool thing to have.

xx Jess