I have so many thoughts this week and have been letting them settle down in my core before writing about them, but something that has just happened to me needs to be articulated. I am an emerging scholar, which is evident from my previous posts about my anxieties surrounding writing and what it means to have my work consumed by other people. My work is going to be outside of my head, and that is inviting people to ask questions, to be concerned about wording, and I sometimes forget that first drafts of anything, ever, are awful.
I am currently taking a course on Academic Writing at the Centre for Drama, Theatre, and Performance Studies, and have been reassured multiple times that sentence structure is never most people’s strong suits. So, while taking a second look through my my recently edited article that’s deadline is looming I got defensive and nervous about having to edit so many sentences…They are confusing? Really? I’m so sorry. But then I finished reading the notes, sat back, and took a deep breath. I’ve decided to write a loving kindness meditation for the editing process because there is a beautiful relationship between editor and author that happens, but someties it feels a bit harsh, even though we both just care about the work.
I am safe,
I am happy,
I am confident that my work is important,
It takes a village to cultivate clear meaning,
I am smart and confident,
I am calm.
Short reminders that my work is valuable, that editing anxiety is normal, and that I am okay.