The Luxury of Choice When it Comes to Having Fucks to Give

This post was nt inspired by Tina Fey’s sheet-caking SNL incident and the backlash its receiving in the aftermath, but now that I’m reflecting more about what I want to talk about today it is the best way to introduce my thoughts.  How great it would be to have the option to just eat sheet cake as opposed to giving a fuck.

I read an instagram post the other day that had some sort of sentiment along the lines of “I can’t choose what thing to give a fuck about so I give no fucks at all.”  Now, if “giving a fuck” or “have no fucks to give” is a new concept for you, you may have not grown up with as a staple in your browser history, or you might use not care, either way this is a unique facet of slang that is reserved for a priviliedged few, who have the luxury of accessing all kinds of knowledge, all kinds of hardships and news, and then “choosing” which to care about.

I’ve been culprit of this, trust me, I am not innocent here, there have been many times where I’ve use threw my hands up in the air and yelled “I give zero fucks!” About whatever I was reading/listening to/talking about. That being said, there are certain things in all of our lives, I would like to assume, that we have no choice but to give fucks about.

What brought me to writing this today is that there is a new…passive complacency lately that I’ve noticed with my social media feed and friendships, where there are SO MANY shit things that we know about, and nobody has the energy to “giive a fuck” about all of them, really, and so we choose to eat sheet cake and watch Grey’s Anatomy with the blinds closed instead of facing them.

I am not suggesting that we all spend all of our energy thinking or facing such things, but we should all give a fuck.  

It all began yesterday, when I came up (again) with a blunder of inaccessibility in an acaedemic institution.  I’m sure you are surprised to hear this, considering universities and academia is SO ACCESSIBLE (ha..ha.ha) but I was so close, in a bathroom stall rereading an email/listening to a voicemail on a break from a teaching workshop Iwas attending, to just give up and not ask for the accommodations I need.  How much, in that moment (and still) do I wish I had the luxury to choose not to give a fuck about this, wow, wouldn’t it be great to just switch off my mind from worrying that I would be able to take the notes I need to to you know do my job and write my prospectus.

But no, friends, no, I don’t get the luxury to turn that off, because if I did then the inequality among the institution would prevent me from doing my job.  And if I am not researching, then what? What is my job then?  If I turn off this worry, then I don’t make a living.  That’s my choice.  Don’t give a fuck and shut down, or keep giving a fuck, draining the energy from my chakras i order to actually get access to do the job.  Where is the energy coming from?

Where is the energy coming from?

We are all drained.  We are, I know, from a horrific world of social media here we are constantly plagued by images, stories, headlines, with contradicting world views and disgusting news around the world, and even locally with people on our own profiles who make comments we are embarrassed about, ashamed of, and make us face things we wish we didn’t have to.  We can shut off the internet, we can close the web browsers, delete accounts.  We can spend hours binging NEtflix shows instead of reading, or writing, or thinking critically.  All of these things are so we don’t burn out completely, so the fires that burn our life goals and dreams don’t burn out too quickly, or at all.

But friends, that is a privilege.  It is a privilege to be able to shut off those thing, to stop giving a fuck for a while about one thing or another.  Some of us can’t turn off everything ever, things like racial prejudices, ableism (constantly, constantly) these things we cannot just take off, set aside, watch an episode of Sherlock with a milkshake and come back to later when we have more energy.  We have to fight somehow, through this muck, with energy that comes from…?

There’s no conclusion here. I’m just pointing out something that’s been bothering me, intensely.  And I’m not the kind of person who is always, constantly thinking critically about the world around me, I love turkey talk, I love sitting in a bar and drinking a glass of wine and talking about puppies as much as the next person, but I’m still fighting, it seems, I don’t get to not worry about very simple things that a lot of people take for granted not worrying about. I’m just tired, drained, burnt out, and asking…where is the energy coming from?

xx Jess